I'm not forcing you to put a label on it baby, you don't have to justify yourself. The main reason I ask is because transexual identity is usually just derived from -- I think a misunderstanding, and frankly an intentional misunderstanding between the differences of sex and gender.
Do you hate the penis because you feel that the penis is often associated with masculinity, as a sexual organ? This is certainly the case there is no reason the believe that is not -- in fact it makes sense.
I'm not asking you to label it though, I'm just trying to provide some of the things that I have learned about this that make a lot of sense with how I perceive myself and understand my identity to have developed :)

If this makes any sense, I just don't think there is anything particular about a penis that says you aren't a woman. Because being a woman is about personality, even though you've been told differently. You were indeed always a woman, simply acting as a man -- regardless of your identity.

Still though, the association is there and you could indeed also be transexual which also has genetic basis -- and even if it didn't is still valid because who is anyone to control it, right?

I know it's not easy babes. I just had a break down of my own where I said I just couldn't deal with being trans anymore. But you know what I've realized about this is it's not the being trans part that bothers me. It's how other people treat me because I am trans.
It's because it's constantly asserted that I have to be something I am not based on my penis.

It is why I too, unfortunately also hate my penis. I can relate to your experience, it's almost like fitting yourself to fit society's weird perverse expectations created to control the female sex. E.g. women shave their legs, men don't. Women wear this and that.
See I venture to guess your journey didn't start with you wanting to feel what it was like to not have a penis.

Your feeling started when you wanted to wear feminine clothing. No matter how hard you tried you couldn't stop wanting to wear the things you wanted to wear, do the things you wanted to do.

Anytime you were told that you were not meant to wear those, or felt that, it was because of the things that make you male. The biggest difference being your penis.

Is this why you hate your penis, or do you hate the actual part. In no way am I saying a vagina might not be preferable, I would rather have one too I think they just look prettier -- though this still might be attributed to social bias, as some penises can even look " pretty" and feminine, or cute. In fact this is the perception for a smaller penis.

I guess what I'm trying to say is... I get it completely, but I've just thought about these things before I guess and wanted to share my experiences. Everyone is different, I'm not you. I'm intersex/AMAB/Trans woman and my " penis" isn't exactly a penis but it is surgically corrected to be like one.

I just think that your body is beautiful, and I want to say it says nothing about how feminine you are or your status as woman baby, that's really what I want to tell you. I don't think it's any worse than a cis woman's body just because you are transgender, you're still a woman which is 🔥 and people will be attracted to you and people worth having will like you whether you are yourself or not.

I don't want you to regret giving up, that's all. I feel the same emotions, but you don't have to give up. At least you're not alone. I'm here for you, as is your community -- we are in your responses and we love you. Again, dms are open 💜